She criticizes white feminism, which, for Gay, is different from essential feminism, and is defined as ignoring “the ongoing effects of racism and postcolonialism,” (307) and notes the divide it causes between feminists. Though Gay’s main argument for why she deems herself a ‘bad’ feminist is largely based on unconscious hypocrisy, she does bring to light truly harmful divides between feminists that I feel compelled to address. This again demonstrates how deep her hurt is she thinks herself into spirals because she tries to combat essential feminism by attacking herself before they have the chance to attack her themselves. She claims: “my success, such as it is, is supposed to be enough if I’m a good feminist.
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She scorns herself for having this worry, because she is “supposed to be evolved,” (316) as per her misconstrued definition of feminism. Gay is willing to prioritize her role as a mother, instead of her career, when the time comes, because she does not want to focus so intently on her work that she misses out on family opportunities.
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Good feminists, however, “are independent enough to care,” (315) not only about their sexual pleasure, but about how to fix their cars as well. For example, she sometimes fakes orgasms with men “because it’s easier” (316) and she cannot be bothered to care. Gay explores a myriad of preconceived notions of feminism though she criticizes essential feminists for living by rules, she herself has created an imaginary rulebook that she shames herself for not following.